Battling with Sugar

I sit at my desk fighting with myself. Not the kind that anyone can see but the mental kind that causes an even greater turmoil. Acutely aware of the chocolates just a few steps away from me, I debate whether to walk over or not. Everyday I fight this battle. In fact, every few hours.

But my relationship with sugar starts even before eating it. I love seeing the package and meticulously opening it as I examine the details of the dessert before me. I like to have it presented nicely because it’s just oh so precious to me.

One by one as I unwrap the single piece of Belgian 70% dark chocolate I start to feel that tingling feeling that the chocolate gives me itself. Like the perfect break during a busy day. A calm intimate moment just between me and the chocolate. My face turning from neutral into a gentle smile. Like someone giving me a massage. Or when the fresh cold water hits your face during a wretched hot summer day.

Clearly many emotions are attached to that beautiful sweet sugar mountain. But one I cannot seem to let go of. It’s beauty freezes me in some sort of blissful day. How can I really give that up? How can I stay away? The relationship is stronger than most and it grows day by day. The more I have the more I want. Some would categorize that as a healthy relationship when it comes to human beings. So why not me and some sugar?

Alas, my stomach doesn’t always share my sentiments. It tells me no but we all know that the heart is the big bully on the playground. You just can’t say no to it. It will do as it pleases and you just have to comply.