When you can’t find your passion

Today seems like any other ordinary day. Thursday. A day in the latter part of the week where our mind starts to get satisfied because the weekend is oh just so close. Today is like any other Thursday, where I can’t wait to watch my shows tonight and become hopeful about tomorrow.

However, today is quite a monumental day for me because today I’ve stopped fighting to “discover” myself. I’ve let go of my pursuit to find the one thing that would make me feel fulfilled, the one thing that I want to do for the rest of my life, the passion that will be the source of fuel everyday. Because here is what I’ve realized today: what you do is not as important as whom you do it with.

This is big deal for me because I’ve struggled everyday to find my passion and to find the right job that will make me happy and satisfied. And because of this constant seeking, I’ve become quite miserable because nothing seems to be the perfect thing about which I can say “yes, I can do this for the rest of my life!”

So this realization is quite a liberating feeling because what makes me most happy are the people I work with, not the actual job per se. So while I keep seeking for interesting things to do, I’ve missed out on the interesting people I’ve been with. I’ve chased after my feelings to understand them better, to understand myself better. But that has left me unsatisfied. Now that I look back though, I realize all my happy times were when I could connect with the people around me even though what I was doing wasn’t very “exciting”. But I was content because their company made me more happy than any particular job could. And as I reflect on my past, I’ve found this to be true for almost everything. Even when university projects were boring/hard but they became enjoyable with friends. And the same applies to my professional life as well.

I often wondered how some people are able to find the one thing and stick with it for the rest of their lives. We know this as passion. But what if there’s another explanation? What if, because they find people with the same interest and are able to connect with them on a deeper level, they are able to stick to that one occupation or company because this makes them happy and not necessarily (only) the job itself. It’s possible. At least I believe this is true for me, until I can disprove myself.

So all of you out there who haven’t figured out what you want to do, who haven’t found their “passion”, try finding out who you want to be around instead.

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